Kategorie: Bewusst werden

Listen to the quiet

The good news for me was that God was always there.

When I was most in need, I suddenly realized. My contribution was that I wouldn’t close up but make myself as vulnerable as it got. Hurt to an extent that would allow either this or to become bitter. If you can choose let me tell you that staying perceptible was the thing to do.

Inside, I knew about a strength by that time I had never put in words. Intuition. So these were my means.

Overexertion on the outside did a lot for me during these weeks. Going beyond what my body found acceptable, a lot of emotions came up that I would have hided in another situation.

But in the end this was not the solution. Solution came during the moments of almost total calmness that pervaded the outbursts of desperation and anger. So always listen to the quiet.

Reborn

So we were discussing GOD and what each one of us believes, and I said I am sure we are going to be reborn.

They were smiling, the family I got around the table. The men especially, a bit patronizing, being told in this family they are the head of it. None of them agreed.

And I told them if you are willing to step back and let me explain, I will tell you why I think this must be true.

So I started with déjà-vu’s. And that I think everybody have had them and they show you have been here before – even in exact the same situation …

And I went on with a phrase I am sure you will also use, „in the next life“. So everyone I know, I pointed out, is using this phrase, even those whose religion would deny that there is a next life. But you don’t mind.

So I said every person just knows better. This is our own knowledge, everything else we were just told.

Being together

The most popular and intimate way of being together is sex. And as a meaning of pleasure, we are sure to experience it.

But then, when you are at it, you will see that there is a moment where you detach from your partner and start being all by yourself. And you are not alone. But you are all one.

And when pleasure peaks, you are not shouting his name, but what you say is

„Oh my GOD“.

And this is where you are.

Three Thirds of a Life

The first Third was only to survive. You sure think, it will never end.

The second Third taught me to live. A longer way, more demanding, more promising than the first.

The third Third now should be for living. The decisions are all mine now.

This might be the main difference. That this first third did not ask me to decide. And did not grant the right. The second one was for errors also, which you cannot prevent when learning to live. My wish now would be that this third is free of errors. But be careful whenever this word appears. Wish.

First steps

These first steps were to persuade myself and the others, that I can really do it.

These steps out of the city, into nature, the first crossroads and then the first decision, where to go.

I tended to take the road that looked more convenient. Tarred, downhill, in the direction of a place where people lived. But that inner voice knew better than me. More often than not, I had to go the other way.